A TRIBUTE TO MY STUPID ROLLY POLLY MENTAL MENON!! ;))

CLASSIFICATION OF JAISNA a.k.a. MENTAL MENON

KINGDOM: Nuttyland

PHYLUM: Bananababy                                         

CLASS: Extraordinaire

ORDER: Chaos-garh

FAMILY: www

GENUS: Non Compos Mentis 

SPECIE: Loony-tunes

CHARACTERISTICS OF Mental Menon

Jaisna Menon is a girl like none other who will blind you with her grin and fool you with the faux innocence in her eyes and rob your heart away. Her facial expressions have become subjects for many researches nation-wide and the scientists are flummoxed as to how she manages to look sooooo stupid most of the time.

Madame Tussauds has expressed an urge to immortalize her "mental look" in wax and the negotiations for the same are being handled by her long time friend Avi Kavi.

After deep study and much contemplation, the scientists have now found out that Mental Menon has over-developed and over-sensitive tear ducts which get activated on the slightest change in the chemical make-up inside her brain. The point to be noted here is that her brain lacks gray matter and is full of bhoosa. It is being conjectured now that all that bhoosa is the reason behind the unique play of emotions which are portrayed amazingly across the canvas of her face.

The recent studies into the bhoosa filled brain of mental Menon tell us that she has some chemical locha inside her brain and has a very loose and light lid on her emotions, which is why her lid blows off every now and then even on non-issues.

Further research has brought forth  certain other characteristics of Mental Menon which make her totally unique. They are:

1. Her staple food is Chhole bhature and Crispy Veg. Currently a leaning towards "Underworld k Kababs" is being noticed in her.

2. She has an exceptionally well-developed and highly advanced radar for circling in on the "cool dudes" and those "cool dudes" fall for all her words hook, line and sinker.

3. She has, just like a chameleon, the ability to look as innocent as a doe and as khoonkhaar as the great Khali within minutes.

4. Mental Menon has a unique style of dancing which was exhibited recently at the so called Prom and also DJ party at BACL. The less said about it is best.

5. She has the talent of extolling a person to great heights and then stripping that very person of his dignity and morale, depending upon which particular chemical in her bhoosadised brain has taken a dive or has shot up.  

6. She has the strength to stick with her friends just like "fevicol ka mazboot jod jo achhe se achha bhi na tod paye".

7. She has the grit to speak her mind and wish all the parliamentarians "Happy Mother's Day" in the middle of Parliamentarian debate.

8. She has a heart of gold that is quite big in all its dimensions, which is why she has sheltered so many lost causes, mad bats, wounded souls, weeping willows, plain Janes, clowns and cynics. Her heart is also the permanent residence of three intelligent, wise, and intellectual beings namely, Ms. Balasubramanian, Ms. Kaur and Ms. Ingle.

9. She belongs to the FOOLS Gang and looks the part with great ease and poise. 

10. She has a deep love of cameras and mirrors and is usually found grinning at them , and I must add here that the cameras love her right back!

11. She has amazingly developed hearing power for catching gossips being shared within a 50 meter radius around her.and great vision, including night vision, which she uses to hunt down the males of human specie. 

12. She basically understands nothing and can seldom keep up with any conversation,  and has a perpetual expression on her face which says "I'm clueless".

13. She has a well-developed, cushy and soft shoulder on which her friends are welcome any time to shed tears. She provides this service over phone as well with great ease.

14. She aspires to be a "  ( b l a n k)  " and this same aspiration is shared by her two friends Avi Kavi and Rocking Rash.

Further research as regards Mental Menon is still on with the scientists trying day and night to figure out the phenomenon that is "Jaisna Menon". However, one thing is certain that no where in this world can one find a girl like MM...she is the candle which lights up the lives of all around her..she is sorely missed when not around and sorely cursed when around...Ms. Ingle and Ms. Kaur and even Ms. Balasubramanian find life rather dull with Mental Menon not present between them and hence, a petition in the Court of Godji has been filed praying for uniting all the fools once again so that life can be fun again. :))

MY TEACHERS BESTEST!!!! :))

They scolded me,

They punished me,

They called me stupid, 

But they saw to it that I straightened up my act.

They laughed with me,

They cried with me,

They helped me,

But left me alone to learn on my own the lessons that cannot be taught.

                           

They corrected my spellings,

They corrected my gait,

They corrected my posture,

But allowed me to grow at my own rate.

They held my hand,

They pulled my ears,

They called me a pain in their neck,

But my being they loved.

They watched me like an eagle,

They cared for me like a mother hen,

They protected me from storms of reality,

But when the storms finally hit me, they inspired me to begin again.

They never spoon fed me,

They pushed me into deep waters,

They were hard task-masters,

But they always stood behind me, ready to catch me when my steps faltered.

However, what they couldn't teach me was how to write poetry, but in their praise, even an awful composition would sound good because although there might be no rhythm or rhyme to what I write,it is backed by a soul deep honesty and sincere appreciation.

On this Teacher's Day, I want to express my eternal Gratitude for all my teachers who cared enough to pull me up whenever it seemed that I am about to slip. I love each and every one of you and I pray that May God Bless this Earth with Your Presence for another Thousand Years to come 'cause fools like me will always need teachers like you'll.

A VERY HAPPY TEACHER'S DAY TO ALL MY TEACHERS...MAY GOD BLESS YOU ALL WITH ALL THINGS SWEET AND SUGARY!! :)

P.S. Dear teachers, Please don't cringe on seeing the word "bestest" in the title...I do know no such word exists...but sometimes right words are not enough to express the depth of your feelings, and "bestest" is the best I could come up with. :)

Chicken Soup for Thought and Soul...

I am sure sometime or the other in our lives we have all gone without food due to some reason or the other...many a times we have also rejected the food put before us saying, "Chheeee....i don't like this stuff"...yet other times we have gone without food to express our anger or because we were sulking or because we wanted our demands to be met by our parents or because we had a fight with our sibling or spouse and wanted to express our displeasure and make the person we fought with feel guilty...the reasons for refusing to eat food put before us are endless. We have all also left food uneaten in our plates due to reasons like we took more than we could eat, or we didn't like the taste, or we had to rush somewhere, etc., etc... The reasons for wasting food either by refusing to eat at all or not eating everything you took in your plate are myriad, but I wonder if any of us or how many of us have ever stopped and contemplated our actions...having refused to eat or leaving food in your plate uneaten, have we ever given it another thought?

Since the time I was a toddler, I've shown a marked disinterest towards food...the eating of it, and later, the making of it too (people become fat even without eating the diet of 3...so please don't let my figure fool U into thinking that I am a foodie). But my mother drilled it into me from early on that one has to finish what one has in his plate...never throw away the food...take only as much as you are sure you can finish... Since my childhood to this age, there have been many a times when I have felt hunger pangs and have craved something to eat...while sometimes I've tried to find excuses to skip meals. However, if I claim to know what true hunger is, how it feels to feel talons clawing at the insides of my stomach begging for food and water, then I'd be lying to you all. With God's grace, there has always been bread on my table and wine in my glass (figuratively speaking). However, this picture made me stop...it wrote horror on my face and left me feeling helpless and very small as a person.

Here is a child who collapsed from hunger right there on earth with the harsh sun trying to squeeze out whatever life he has left in him and the vulture waiting patiently to feed on his body. THIS IS HUNGER...this is desperation...this is what makes me wonder will I ever be forgiven for refusing the gifts God gave me and wasting what is so precious? While we crib about eating what we don't like, this kid hungers for a single morsel of wholesome food....while we let the water run like we have some secret reservoirs full of it somewhere, this child yearns for a mouthful of clean drinking water...while we leave uneaten food in our plates when we go to hotels, this child lives the nip and sting of hunger beyond comprehension....while we crib about having to eat bland food in order to maintain our figures, this kid aches for a piece of bread....while we lament our fates for not giving us enough money to experience five star luxury, this kid cries out and asks whoever is ready to listen, "why me?".

This says it all....   http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=1047149183574

         

Perhaps it is time to take stock of our lives and count our blessings for there are many. I think it is time we learnt to share our good fortune with the less fortunate and stop cribbing about the dark clouds that would anyway disappear once it has rained (metaphorically speaking). 

A very poignant verse comes to my mind written by Trench...whoever he is ;))

It goes as follows:

Some murmur, when their sky is clear

And wholly bright to view,

If one small speck of dark appear

In their great heaven of blue:

And some with thankful love are filled,

If but one streak of light,

One ray of God's good mercy, gild

The darkness of their night.

Let's be the thankful lot rather than the cribbing one.

...Chew on it!! :)

INDIA YESTERDAY, TODAY AND TOMORROW....

Today India celebrated its 63rd Independence Day...nationwide celebrations took place in various ways...some hoisted flags, some sang patriotic songs, some went for movies and dinner, some did drunken dance, while some went around screaming on the bikes slogans which the Indians keep carefully wrapped up in the folds of their hearts to be brought out only on 15th August and 26th January.

Great many thinkers have tried to reason as to why Indians are Indians only twice a year? After a lot of research and contemplation and back-breaking studies and thought provoking discussions, it has been concluded that Indians are Indians only by the virtue of the geographical territory they reside within. The researchers have also come up with some very special characteristics of Indians which are peculiar to them and have made them world famous. These are:-

1. They are basically escapists who on seeing hardships being suffered by their countrymen on TV, change the channel and watch Roadies. (Oh God!! I cant see this...pls change the channel...it's so depressing!!)

2. They believe that charity begins at home. Consequently all their riches earned go straight to the family, for charity begins at home and apparently ends there as well.

3. They adore...like totally adore Goddess Laxmi and also they love their families...they are the most loving and caring people...so much so that they keep a look out for new ways and means by which they can evade paying tax to that stupid government, which they themselves elect and bring to power. I mean which sane man would want to alienate Goddess Laxmi for taxes when Laxmi ji can bring grins on his family's face? 

4. They believe that everything that ails their motherland is the fault of the politicians who govern them...who can blame the poor citizens who have no power? 

{power to go and vote a leader of your choice and bring him to power is no power and power play at the top leaves the people at the bottom powerless so please don't talk about power 'cause we've had enough of power games...I mean does it even count? I mean the power to vote? I mean aren't they all stupid anyway? So what's the sense in going to vote when they are all idiots contesting for an idiotic job for reasons idiotic enough that they need not be mentioned here?}

5. They believe in revering and respecting their freedom fighters and they believe in following their teachings. Now take for example the teachings of Lokmanya Tilak. He said "Swaraj is my birth right and I shall have it!!" So that is one of the teachings which touched every Indian's heart...Of course it's the rule of nature that with time things and thoughts should change to accommodate the needs of the new age. Hence, the Indians have just made slight alterations to the above slogan and have coined a new motto..."Breaking law is my birth right and I shall Break it!!" Now you see, the basic sentence is the same..a word or two here and there have been changed only to give in to the demands of this highly competitive world...so you see....Indians basically worship their freedom fighters...but zara hatke!!

6. They believe in protecting and enhancing the biodiversity in their country by giving rise to the birth of insects and viruses and bacteria which add colour and odour to their land. The Indians are a very intelligent breed and they strongly advocate watering the plants along the roadsides on a regular basis by the way of "Mootra Visarjan" and adorning the roads themselves with "Thook Visarjan". That shows how conscientious they are. They think not only about their own families but also about the nature around them...they agree that this method of maintaining biodiversity is unconventional and leaves behind an unbearable stench...but so what? This is the most cost-effective method to go about protecting and encouraging biodiversity and that I say is the need of the hour!!!

7. They are a very religious people who believe that they must show how much they love God and how grateful they are for His blessings, and hence they show their appreciation by donating crores of rupees in Gold and silver and even diamond to temples. This is a very peculiar trait of Indians who think that they owe it to God 'cause after all it's their duty to properly show gratitude to the almighty for services rendered.

8. They do not believe in playing God...No NO...that would be soooo presumptuous of them. They believe that they must never do what is after all God's Godly job and that is to bring hope and happiness to hearts that are ready to surrender and accept defeat. How can a human being do something so momentous? Hence, even when the Indians see people dying in their country due to natural calamities or terror attacks or hunger or riots or heartbreak, they believe that they should rather concentrate on pleasing God by giving Him golden crowns and money a plenty than spend all that hard earned money on people unknown who God anyway didn't want to prosper and be happy. They think that who are they to interfere in God's will? That sounds pretty logical to me...

9. They believe in celebrating the birth of their various Gods and Goddesses by taking out lengthy processions with amazing background music which somehow occupies the forefront of everybody's mind. Their main festival, that is Diwali, is all about bursting crackers and lighting up the night skies and covering their world in a shroud of smoke, and all this to celebrate the victory of good over evil.

10. They love to play the blame games and have won World Championship Trophies in this game year after year after year. They believe that fingers were given to them only so that they can point them at others and the chairs provided to sit in the Parliament have been placed there so that they need not carry stones to throw at each and can make multiple use of those chairs itself...it has already been stated that they are an intelligent race.

Despite all its quirks and all its short-comings, My Country Rocks!! [most times literally ;)) ]

Hope, Faith and Love....

I have fallen many times,
I have skinned my hands and my knees,
I have been kicked around from here to Timbuktu,
I have allowed people to bruise my soul black and blue.
My ego took too many beatings to count,
My pride suffered many a knocks,
My love and trust have been thrown back in my face,
My follies of the past still come to hound,
Regrets in my heart are many, and
My "being" is the proof of all the fire rings that I've had to jump through...
The burns hurt me and make me cry out...
But through it all I never let my spirit suffer a fatal blow.
I never quit, I never gave up,
I never surrendered to the forces that wanted me to break and disintegrate
Because against all those negative forces,
I had a force which beat them all...
My Faith that my God is with me,
My Faith that he would never forsake me,
My Faith that He might punish me, but would never stop Loving me...
My Hope that tomorrow would bring a new dawn, a dawn of victory and triumph which He helped me achieve.
His love egged me on to cross all the barriers,
Climb all the stiles,
He gave me the courage to break through the fences, and
Walk distant miles...
God tells me there are many more mountains to scale and many rivers to cross,
Many storms to weather and many hurts to endure,
But he promises me His love that knows no bounds...
He asks me to take another step into the unknown 'cause there lies my goal.

ਦੇਹ ਸਿਵਾ ਬਰੁ ਮੋਹਿ ਇਹੈ ਸੁਭ ਕਰਮਨ ਤੇ ਕਬਹੂੰ ਨ ਟਰੋਂ ॥
ਨ ਡਰੋਂ ਅਰਿ ਸੋ ਜਬ ਜਾਇ ਲਰੋਂ ਨਿਸਚੈ ਕਰਿ ਅਪੁਨੀ ਜੀਤ ਕਰੋਂ ॥
ਅਰੁ ਸਿਖ ਹੋਂ ਆਪਨੇ ਹੀ ਮਨ ਕੌ ਇਹ ਲਾਲਚ ਹਉ ਗੁਨ ਤਉ ਉਚਰੋਂ ॥
ਜਬ ਆਵ ਕੀ ਅਉਧ ਨਿਦਾਨ ਬਨੈ ਅਤਿ ਹੀ ਰਨ ਮੈ ਤਬ ਜੂਝ ਮਰੋਂ ॥੨੩੧॥ [1]

देह शिवा बर मोहे ईहे, शुभ कर्मन ते कभुं न टरूं
न डरौं अरि सौं जब जाय लड़ौं , निश्चय कर अपनी जीत करौं,
अरु सिख हों आपने ही मन कौ इह लालच हउ गुन तउ उचरों ,
जब आव की अउध निदान बनै अति ही रन मै तब जूझ मरों ॥२३१॥

Translation: O Lord grant me the boon, that I may never deviate from doing a good deed.
That I shall not fear when I go into combat. And with determination I may achieve victory.
That I may teach myself this greed alone, that is to learn only Thy praises.
And when the last days of my life come, I may die battling for what is right.
-- Guru Gobind Singh Ji

So all you flagging spirits out there, CHEER UP!!
Together with the Lord we'll take the bull by the horns
And win not just a battle but the entire war...
And the only weapon we need in our armory is Faith in His wisdom and belief in ourselves...
If you have it, then Just Roar Ahead!!!!! :)

To Roshani and all my pals with all my love....

Twenty years she grew in sun and shower;

Then Nature said, "A lovelier flower

On earth was never sown;

This child I to myself will take;

She shall be mine, and I will make

A lady of my own.

"Myself will to my darling be

Both law and impulse: and with me

The girl, in rock and plain,

In earth and heaven, in glade and bower,

Shall feel an overseeing power

To kindle or restrain.

"She shall be sportive as the fawn

That wild with glee across the lawn

Or up the mountain springs;

And her's shall be the breathing balm,

And her's the silence and the calm

Of mute insensate things.

"The floating clouds their state shall lend

To her; for her the willow bend;

Nor shall she fail to see

Even in the motions of the storm

Grace that shall mould the maiden's form

By silent sympathy.

"The stars of midnight shall be dear

To her; and she shall lean her ear

In many a secret place

Where rivulets dance their wayward round,

And beauty born of murmuring sound

Shall pass into her face.

"And vital feelings of delight

Shall rear her form to stately height,

Her virgin bosom swell;

Such thoughts to Roshani I will give

While she and I together live

Here in this happy dell."

Thus Nature spake -The work was done -

How soon my friend's race was run!

She died, and left to me

This heath, this calm and quiet scene;

The memory of what has been,

And never more will be.

(By William Wordsworth...slightly edited by me)

God blessed me with many lovely friends, but He also took away one who was very dear to me...I regret not having told her how much she meant...still means to me. So I decided that I won't repeat my mistakes, and on this Friendship's day, I want to tell all my friends before its too late for words that they are all very precious to me and are much loved and cherished by me...

I might hurt them by my words,

I might hurt them with my deeds,

I might irritate them with my constant babble,

I might tease them endlessly,

I might say that I don't care if they are there with me or not,

But the fact remains that they brighten up my day and take away the gloom...

So I pray to God that please bless my friends with lives that bloom

Forever and ever!!

There r many frens of mine who r not in this picture collage n that's only bcoz i don't have a pic of theirs...but they all mean the world to me!!

SO HERE'S WISHING ALL YOU FOOLS WHO CHOSE TO BE MY FRIENDS A VERY HAPPY FRIENDSHIP'S DAY!!  GOD BLESS...!! :)

When it's raining from your nose...

In the almost 25 years of my...my....my...aaaachhhoooo....my existence on Earth, I've come to the conclusion that good things come in small packages only....big units are not cool. take for....for ...for.. .for....aaachhhheeeee.....for example my nose. God blessed me with a really huge nose wherein I can perhaps fit a whole plumbing system of which I....I...I...I  aaaa.....(well that was a missed call) ...I am very much in need these days. Does this sound crazy?? Not to me...and not to people who have experienced rainfall from their noses. In my case it's a common occurrence and it need not even be...be...beeeeee.....sniff sniff... be rainy season for it to get going.That's why i said good things come in small packages and running nose is the bane of big units. My nose is right now crying itself hoarse for help and has turned a very unatttttrrrraaaachhhhooooo......unattractive red, but there seems to be no respite because they say there's no cure for common cold. I wonder what sort of a world we live in where scientists have found cure for T.B. and even cancer but not cold?? Anyway, the point is, all my body fluids have picked today to abandon my...my....aachiiii....my body through my nostrils n m feeling dehydrated and parched just like d parched earth in a desert land in the middle of summer. when i speak it sounds like a frog's croaking rather than like a crow's crowing (that's what it sounds like when my nose isn't blocked with God knows what crap)I wish there would be a drought in my nose soon or else my spirits would be washed away in this FLOODONOSE. So until the calm sets in and sniffling becomes a thing of the past, Toodleeoooooaaaacchhhi!! (..sigh..)

The Beginning....

Today's my first day at this new activity of mine, that is, blogging. I don't know what made me get into this thing...maybe my ever present need to express, to tell people about what I think, irrespective of the fact whether they want to know it or not, or maybe it is this eternal thirst for listening, for getting to know new and all possible point of views so that I can reach a just and fair conclusion about anything and everything that happens to enter and run across the field of my ever up and awake mind. Whatever it is, I am glad that I've found a new outlet to let out all my pent up feelings and opinions for after all, these days when humans fail to understand, machines lend a hand. So hear me people and also say your piece and lets all live in harmony and pray for peace...(i know my rhymes suck...forgive me please.. ;) )

So let me welcome you all to the ever changing and highly high strung odyssey of my life... :)