Today India celebrated its 63rd Independence Day...nationwide celebrations took place in various ways...some hoisted flags, some sang patriotic songs, some went for movies and dinner, some did drunken dance, while some went around screaming on the bikes slogans which the Indians keep carefully wrapped up in the folds of their hearts to be brought out only on 15th August and 26th January.
Great many thinkers have tried to reason as to why Indians are Indians only twice a year? After a lot of research and contemplation and back-breaking studies and thought provoking discussions, it has been concluded that Indians are Indians only by the virtue of the geographical territory they reside within. The researchers have also come up with some very special characteristics of Indians which are peculiar to them and have made them world famous. These are:-
1. They are basically escapists who on seeing hardships being suffered by their countrymen on TV, change the channel and watch Roadies. (Oh God!! I cant see this...pls change the channel...it's so depressing!!)
2. They believe that charity begins at home. Consequently all their riches earned go straight to the family, for charity begins at home and apparently ends there as well.
3. They adore...like totally adore Goddess Laxmi and also they love their families...they are the most loving and caring people...so much so that they keep a look out for new ways and means by which they can evade paying tax to that stupid government, which they themselves elect and bring to power. I mean which sane man would want to alienate Goddess Laxmi for taxes when Laxmi ji can bring grins on his family's face?
4. They believe that everything that ails their motherland is the fault of the politicians who govern them...who can blame the poor citizens who have no power?
{power to go and vote a leader of your choice and bring him to power is no power and power play at the top leaves the people at the bottom powerless so please don't talk about power 'cause we've had enough of power games...I mean does it even count? I mean the power to vote? I mean aren't they all stupid anyway? So what's the sense in going to vote when they are all idiots contesting for an idiotic job for reasons idiotic enough that they need not be mentioned here?}
5. They believe in revering and respecting their freedom fighters and they believe in following their teachings. Now take for example the teachings of Lokmanya Tilak. He said "Swaraj is my birth right and I shall have it!!" So that is one of the teachings which touched every Indian's heart...Of course it's the rule of nature that with time things and thoughts should change to accommodate the needs of the new age. Hence, the Indians have just made slight alterations to the above slogan and have coined a new motto..."Breaking law is my birth right and I shall Break it!!" Now you see, the basic sentence is the same..a word or two here and there have been changed only to give in to the demands of this highly competitive world...so you see....Indians basically worship their freedom fighters...but zara hatke!!
6. They believe in protecting and enhancing the biodiversity in their country by giving rise to the birth of insects and viruses and bacteria which add colour and odour to their land. The Indians are a very intelligent breed and they strongly advocate watering the plants along the roadsides on a regular basis by the way of "Mootra Visarjan" and adorning the roads themselves with "Thook Visarjan". That shows how conscientious they are. They think not only about their own families but also about the nature around them...they agree that this method of maintaining biodiversity is unconventional and leaves behind an unbearable stench...but so what? This is the most cost-effective method to go about protecting and encouraging biodiversity and that I say is the need of the hour!!!
7. They are a very religious people who believe that they must show how much they love God and how grateful they are for His blessings, and hence they show their appreciation by donating crores of rupees in Gold and silver and even diamond to temples. This is a very peculiar trait of Indians who think that they owe it to God 'cause after all it's their duty to properly show gratitude to the almighty for services rendered.
8. They do not believe in playing God...No NO...that would be soooo presumptuous of them. They believe that they must never do what is after all God's Godly job and that is to bring hope and happiness to hearts that are ready to surrender and accept defeat. How can a human being do something so momentous? Hence, even when the Indians see people dying in their country due to natural calamities or terror attacks or hunger or riots or heartbreak, they believe that they should rather concentrate on pleasing God by giving Him golden crowns and money a plenty than spend all that hard earned money on people unknown who God anyway didn't want to prosper and be happy. They think that who are they to interfere in God's will? That sounds pretty logical to me...
9. They believe in celebrating the birth of their various Gods and Goddesses by taking out lengthy processions with amazing background music which somehow occupies the forefront of everybody's mind. Their main festival, that is Diwali, is all about bursting crackers and lighting up the night skies and covering their world in a shroud of smoke, and all this to celebrate the victory of good over evil.
10. They love to play the blame games and have won World Championship Trophies in this game year after year after year. They believe that fingers were given to them only so that they can point them at others and the chairs provided to sit in the Parliament have been placed there so that they need not carry stones to throw at each and can make multiple use of those chairs itself...it has already been stated that they are an intelligent race.
Despite all its quirks and all its short-comings, My Country Rocks!! [most times literally ;)) ]
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